Cinco

I've reached the unscientific conclusion that five is the magic taco number.

Anything less than five is unsatisfying. Another more than five seems harmless upon completion. Yet you feel like total crap for days to come.

But five, man, that's the ticket. You're full, you probably COULD eat two more, but no, you stay strong and stick with five. Your stomach thanks you.

How do you divide those five? You COULD order all five at once. Try this: Start with three, then go for two more.

Get one of each of the holy taco trinity: Carne asada, al pastor and carnitas. If you're not a fan of any of these, swap in buche, lengua or if you're ballsy, cabeza. If you order the ground beef, run away.

After eating three, pick the two best, and order one of each on the next round. If you're only a fan of one, order two of that. There's your five.

Tonight I did the imbalanced 4+1 technique at La Estrella in Highland Park. Bad idea. I felt weird ordering a single taco at a truck. It feels wrong. The taco looks sad and lonely.

The next taco run, and every run thereafter: Tres, y dos mas.

Muy bien.

Now Hear This

According to this article, these are six phrases men love to hear:

1) You look great.

2) I love it when you [insert action].

3) That woman just checked you out.

4) You're right.

5) Will you help me unscrew this?

6) You're not going bald.


I'll agree with #1 and #5. I'm indifferent on #2. But the other three? Dubious.

For #3, as Admiral Ackbar would say, "IT'S A TRAP!" Don't fall for it.

For #4, I wouldn't know how I'd feel, as nobody has ever said this to me.

For #6, please. I'm aware that my head feels cooler year after year. I don't need to be lied to. Why don't you just deny my expanding gut while you're at it.

Here are some phrases that I think men would want to hear:

- It's OK, I got the bill.
- Let's talk...Just kidding!
- Go Bruins!
- I'm too full. I don't know what I was thinking ordering this extra taco. Do you want it?

That's all I have for now. Anyone else have more phrases? I'd love to hear them.